Holes in the Soul
by Ms. Writer 2013
Summary: Tommy Oliver's life is composed of many victories and some failures. Insomnia on the morning of his 37th birthday is the trigger that was missing for he analyze some points that went wrong in his life.


**P.S¹: I don't have any rights to the characters; I like to write and just had this scenario in my mind.** **I ****don't earn ****any money ****writing this****.**

**P.S²: ****According to**** wiki/Tommy_Oliver****website****, ****it is written in ****the box ****of the ****Dragonzord ****toy ****with Green ****Ranger ****toy****, ****that birthday ****of ****Tommy ****and ****Jason ****is ****on October 20****. ****I adopted ****the date for ****this story ****and ****consider ****1977 ****the year of****t heir birth****.**

**P.S³: This is a sequel of the story "Back to Action Or, Back to Mess!?", It can be read as a single story, however. If you want to read the story that gave rise to this, you can find it in my profile. ****Happy reading!**

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><p>October 20, 2014<p>

Are almost 06 hours in the morning and I still couldn't sleep. Not that I suffer from insomnia or something. Is because today is my birthday and at that time I just staying awake while I take stock of my life and define goals for the next 365 days. It really helps make birthday near the end of the year, so the goals that I draw to serve more than one occasion. I know I will not sleep today. In a few hours my best friend will be here to spend the day with me; our tradition for more than 20 years.

I can't complain of the achievements of my life. The battles of life or death as Power Ranger was fortunately ended well for me and made me stronger, determined and confident. This helped me a lot in all things I did after that period because I know how much I can reach my goals.

My career as a scientist and teacher continues and I am very proud of it. And who wouldn't be? With 27 years had earned my PhD in Paleontology with much effort, hours of study and extra work, and the temporary sacrifice of my athletic career. After I was mentor of Power Rangers Dino Thunder, didn't give more classes to high school; the following year, I became a college teacher and returned to scientific research. I left Reefside in late 2007 and since then, I live and work in Los Angeles, close to Angel Grove and the people who are part of my life. I am proud of my efforts to be able to open doors to new studies about dinosaurs.

My athletic career also makes me proud. Since my childhood, I practiced all sports that were possible and knew I'm very good at it. I earned my black belts in martial arts and became a teacher and athlete. Then came the interest in auto racing. I also got success in this sport, but the need to expand my horizons and trace paths that no one expected me had brought me to a temporary retirement and dedication to academic life. Of course, I never stopped practicing sports, nor they were just running and weight training in the few times that I took, but I needed to leave something aside after I discovered not be humanly possible to do all at the same time.

I went back to the sports car racing and martial arts competitions around the same time that I resumed my research career. I don't participate in as many competitions as participated before for lack of time for this, but my results are still very significant and often I win.

My adoptive parents are proud of everything I do. I think the biggest satisfaction in all my achievements is to show to family and friends who support me that whole their dedication worth it. I don't have much contact with my brother David as we like. Despite the blood ties that bind us, some differences in lifestyle were more relevant; we talked regularly, but didn't see him as the brother that I see in Jason, my best friend. He's my trainer because we live in different cities, but very close and always accompanies me in the main competitions. We won many victories together, and his presence makes me even more confident.

I keep many of my long-time friends. A few friends of my childhood remained, but don't maintain as much contact as with the teenage friends. Zack is a respected choreographer here in Los Angeles. We live in the same building but in different apartments. When he travels, I pass by his apartment to make sure that everything is fine. Aisha is a veterinarian and soon will marry her boyfriend who met while they both worked at the same clinic. Adam is a partner of Rocky and Jason at the Young Center, which has become a reference in healthy lifestyle and sports training; Kira and he are together there (for me, awesome) seven years and have two daughters: the first was an unexpected surprise resulting from the beginning of what came to be their relationship. They recently married in secret, in a ceremony with just a few family and friends. The Kira successful singing career, she is one singer most listened to country and Adam is still physiotherapist. She maintains personal life away from the spotlight.

As for the other members of the team that I was mentor, Conner is a successful soccer player; when he finished college, he was hired by a soccer team in England and is successful there. Soon he think of returning to the United States and create a soccer school. Ethan is finishing a PhD in technology and industry-leading companies compete to be chosen by him to work. Trent is an artist in Milan; he was to study there one year after the end of the relationship with Kira. I worry about the direction that his life has taken; despite the success as an artist, I know he isn't happy. He was also created by an adoptive parent - my research partner, Anton Mercer - but their relationship was always austere and distant. I wanted Trent had experienced the joys of caring parents and supporters. Anton could be the father, but both didn't know to give and receive affection.

Going back to my old friends as well as keep a very close friendship with Adam and Zack, is my proximity with Rocky. He came from a Latin family traditionally large and followed the footsteps of their grandparents and parents in this regard. He met Tatiane in the first year of college and they are proud parents of five biological children. Two years ago, Adam, Kira, Trini, Jason, Zack, Aisha and I spent Christmas with his family, as we always do on the night of the 24th December and destiny played us one piece. Twin babies were abandoned in front of his house and, with quick action Trini, who is a lawyer and defender of the rights of children, babies won a family quickly. Just as everything in our lives happened, we learned to accept what fate holds and, for sure, someone on that cozy dining room had just won a family. We would never cease the babies are lost in the system. Jason, Zack and I exchanged looks that confirmed that we had structure to start a family abruptly, but with great competence and love. Before any of us could express any reaction, Rocky's paternal instinct took action when he quickly picked up the babies and spoke calmly and warmly in the small ears that they would never be abandoned. At that moment, Rocky became a father again and we all aunts and uncles again. That night was remarkable in my life and finished awaken the desire to have children what I already knew that there was in me.

But it was when I became godfather who found out about my love life affect me without me realizing it. Jason and Trini gave me the greatest gift and the greatest responsibility that I have ever received: I became godfather of Gabriella, the two months daughter, really well planned, of my friends. She has the same serenity of Trini and the same welcoming eyes of Jason. Their relationship began in 2007 and going to the point that they started living together and considered themselves married quickly, after a few years away. They never had dated before, but something had happened between them while studying in Switzerland. Trini was decided officialize marriage and make a beautiful party a year before her daughter birth; she did it for Jason's family, which is Catholic and traditional. But I know he didn't care to marry legally or religiously. Just knowing that Trini is part of his life was enough.

When I held Gabriela in my arms for the first time, I understood the emptiness I felt in my life, despite all the achievements which I won. While my friends can celebrate their accomplishments with people who love and chose to spend a lifetime with, I return to the solitude and silence of my apartment and I don't know if one day I will have someone to share with my story. Although Zack also be single and have no children, Jason was standing nearby at all times and was with him that I always talked about the sorrows of an unsuccessful love life. Still talk when is necessary, but not want him to feel bad for me, thinking that I envy the family that now he has. I want a family as well, but never trade the happiness that I see in my best friend for my desire.

Not that I have difficulties in finding a girlfriend, the problem are the stones in the way of relationships that ultimately led to unhappy endings that all had. For some time, I thought this was commonplace ... and I know that it is ... Jason had some relationships that also ended badly, but not as much as mine, and some finished a quiet mode. As for Adam, he also suffered from a love life, but found someone who strangely complete him and is very happy now.

But what scares me is that my problems started since I met my first girlfriend ... before Kimberly ... before going to live in Angel Grove.

Trisha wasn't my girlfriend, but she was my first crush. Was 1992; I was 15, she was 22 and was secretary in the martial arts center in which I was doing classes. She never talked much about her, but was interested in me. She was pretty and friendly and my male teenage hormones increased their characteristics to the physical attraction - and she was attracted to me. We never talk a lot about ourselves, barely know each other as an individual, but the few times we left for any innocent activities, meetings ended in sex. I started my sex life with her and our case ended soon before my parents being transferred to Angel Grove. She had a boyfriend.

I met Kimberly soon as I moved to the city, in the first karate championship that participated in Angel Grove - indeed, I competed against Jason and our fight ended in a draw. Not yet I concluded whether the involvement of Rita in our lives facilitated or made things difficult for us. After entering and leaving the team by guilt for everything I did when I was under the spell, and the instability of the Green Ranger powers, I came back determined to make the spell damage on my mind back and our relationship began. We dated for a little over two years. I never told Kim about Trisha and let her thinking that we discovered the pleasures of sex together. I know she believed in Prince Charming and I never would spoil her dreams. When she was called to defend the United States Gymnastics Team, the distance and the necessity for care, the difficulties and pressures of our lives - hers as high level athlete and I like Power Ranger - destroyed our relationship. She found a new love; a gymnast who was on the team with her, they are married today. I don't keep more sorrows about the end of our relationship for many years ago, but still wanted it to be different.

Soon after Kim went to Florida, I was starting college of Science at UCLA and leaving the my parents' house to share a small apartment with Jason. My best friend had returned from Switzerland and won an athletic scholarship, also at UCLA. His parents didn't live in California and his family couldn't afford to help him financially to stay in the state and in college. But with the money we received for the classes which we gave, we could keep us, if we divide the bills. Jason was my safe haven when my relationship ended and wouldn't let me go insane.

Very shortly thereafter, I started dating Katherine. It was, without doubt, my longest relationship. For four years we share our lives and our problems. She is a year younger than I, therefore, went to college a year later, along with Adam and Rocky. We decided to move in together and Jason went to live with Adam and Rocky.

It wasn't all flowers, when I started my postgraduate and decided to end my athletic career to devote myself to scientific research, I left California and our relationship didn't last just because of the distance. I confess that neglected her and we separated after she was invited to continue her studies in London and dance in a big dance company in Europe. I loved her, but couldn't deprive her of career she had chosen. And she has a lot of talent for dancing. She still lives in Europe, and my friends and I have seen all presentations her when she comes to presenting in the United States.

I knew Ingrid when I separated from Kat, but never happened nothing between us. And when it happened, during the post-graduation vacation, we had a drunken married in Las Vegas, in 2001. We weren't close earlier our wedding and was very troubled. The fights and arguments were constant and painful. My travel excavations also didn't help at all; we could never solve our problems. I confess that I betrayed her. I tried hard not to do it, but I had a platonic and irresistible passion when I joined the Anton's team and met Terrance "Smitty" Smith, in 2002.

It was very hard to accept that I had fallen in love with a man and decided to start a sexual relationship with him. During this period, the crisis in my marriage has worsened because in addition to problems that already existed; I was in crisis with myself. Never had anything against people chooses to homosexual relationships, but never thought I could have the same slope. It was during the return of Forever Red mission that Jason forced me to tell him what bothered me in recent months. And I found in him the understanding and the advices that I needed to understand myself to myself. Not that Jason has been in the same situation or something, but he's good at understanding people and always helps to those who can to get the best of every problem.

I continued living the two concurrent relationships for a few more months. And then, in 2003, there was an explosion on the island where we worked. I saved the material that became the basis for the Power Rangers Dino Thunder's creation, but couldn't save Smitty or Anton. Jason and Adam rescued me, with the Eric, Wes and Carter's help; and I spent my recovery period in Jason's apartment. During this time, I decided to end my relationship with Ingrid and, after many fights, insults and accusations that marked our divorce, I promised myself never more get married.

During periods when I was without girlfriends, I had few dates and friendships with benefits and, despite not having found me with any man; I was open to this possibility. Hayley was assigned to work with me. We met during college and she was the perfect choice for working in Lightspeed Rescue's space engineering department. After a while, we decided that we could be friends with benefits instead of just friends and when Dino Thunder team started the battles, Hayley and I began to have an exclusive relationship. The minds and bodies of Anton and Elsa were freed from the evil personalities who seized them, but Smitty died when Zeltrax was defeated. His body had already died in the explosion of the island, was possessed by the villain and discarded at the end.

My relationship with Smitty was so tense and painful when with Ingrid. We also discussed a lot, but we could always talk and apologies. I was very sad when I heard he actually died and again spent a few days putting my head in order in Jason's company. Was already in a relationship with Hayley, but never told her about my bisexuality.

We decided to get married a few months later and the marriage lasted for two years. During that time I stopped being a high school teacher and started teaching at the college, I returned my athletic and scientist carriers. We conducted several studies, discoveries and patented some work. Our different personalities started to become very strong and we started to fight a lot. Very much. The end of the relationship, in 2007, was marked by her betrayal and we only kept in touch because of our projects, but always with the mediation and negotiation of Biolab, now led by Wes.

After Hayley, I never had a serious relationship with anyone. I really loved her and was very attached to her for the cure she gave to my heart after Smitty's death. The pain for his death wasn't just because of what we live together, but the feeling of impotence for not having saved the life of someone very important to me.

I kept having some causal relationships with women, and rarely with men, but the difficulty in trusting someone and create closer ties away me from some nice people who I might have known better. Over time, I started going to meetings less and less; and today, are more than two years I haven't date or sex with someone.

Jason always tries to get me to go out at same night clubs and introduce me to some people. Zack, Rocky, Adam and Conner try it too but I don't have more interest in investing in my love life.

I have success in almost all areas of my life, except my love life. Someone I love and matches that feeling makes me sorely missed. Children make fails me. But I know that is impossible for a man be successful at all. I have not given up a family, but my dream is an increasingly distant goal.

I gave up sleep and I will start my day. Soon Jason will be here to spend the day with me, is his birthday too; even now that he has a family, he vowed that will not break our tradition of spending our birthdays together, even though I have him released of our promise. The night we will have a party together that will bring together all our friends. I cannot or I will say I'm lonely because I have very important people to me always around. Whenever we feel lonely at times or stages of our lives and I know I will always have friends to whom I can ask some shelter of my lonely soul.


End file.
